Thursday, July 5, 2012

So yes I was doing well until I get a phone call from the one I TRUELY love... My heart literally skips a beat and I have fallen hard all over again. I hate feeling like I'm trapped. But he is all I can think about and that's what makes it worse...wait, the book I'm reading reflexes a lot on me and I have realized that the book explains everything that I feel about this guy. What that he won't talk to me!! Augh! I just wish I could move on. He doesn't want me....I see that, but my heart and mind won't stop! I know I will always love him, but I jut wish he would make a move or just let me know that everything is ok and that he is actually moving on...or that he's thinking of me... Sometimes, I wish I could be that girl that a guy would want. I am content on being single, but I want to have something more. I want to have a man who will actually want to be with me and isn't ashamed to show me off, who wants me with their family and them with mine. I don't want to be a secret love but apparently I am one and I have one because I can't tell a soul on who it is. His sisters are my friends and I just can't seem to tell them or ask them questions on how he's doing. I love his family just as much as I love him.
That is my weakness, this guy who won't say a word to me, unless it's something simple and sweet that I say to him first. Geez...wish I didn't love so hard. Damn you love for killing me and letting me know that I love way too hard for anyone.

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