Saturday, August 13, 2011

Another Sunday

Tomorrow is only another Sunday 
And it will begin 
The week of searching 
Which never ends well
Another week of not 
Seeing you seated
In your spot
Another week of 
Not being a friend
Just a distant memory
Which is what it's 
Turning out to be 
So only dreams will remain 
Or random texting of 
How we should meet
And it's the only thing 
That keeps somewhat 
Of a relationship
Who knows where things lead
Maybe it wasn't meant to be
Anything more than 
Just a friendship
But still on Sunday
I seek for you 
And you won't be there 
Because you have a life 
Of your own 
And the only contact 
We'll have is through texting
And that doesn't help 
A relationship at all
So let the dreams
And random texting begin again
What's another week 
Without seeing you
A broken friend 
Who will just encourage you
And I'll keep my distance 
That's all that I'll do
Keep bugging you with quotes 
And stay in the back 
Of the gym seeking 
For a friendship that won't happen
Because I push too hard for it 
And then I'll push it away
Because that's what I do...
Let Sunday come 
Another week will start
With work being in the way
And another nights alone for me
As my world crumbles 
For something that's 
Not going to happen

Monday, August 1, 2011

Always Alone?

I am always by myself so I am a loner...but I'm never alone, though I feel extremely alone. I don't have to go out, but it's nice every now and then I would like to go out with my friends that I don't see often. When I was going out, hanging with a friend of mine, but I felt like e was being hidden from out mutual friends... So what did I do??? I stopped hanging out with him alone. We acted like a couple when we weren't and that ended the going out, hanging out, or whatever...

You're probably thinking, "What? Shannon Marie isn't going out?! She's a theatre person, they go out all the time, what's wrong?"
That might be stereotyping, but even when was working in the theatre, I didn't go out... I just started going out after shows during 'Love Kills'. I have never been a party matter what I do...I'll be a loner. People will say that I can change... You're right I COULD change, but it will be me. I am who I am. I am truthfully shy, a hard worker, will listen to your problems and try to put a smile on your face while encouraging you and letting you know everything will be ok and that you're loved. 

What can I say? That's who I am... Painfully shy until I let someone in and become a big goofball to make people laugh.