Friday, April 13, 2012

Angry me

So what of I got fired because of a person who really can't do their job and always looks to me for their work?

Would I be happy or would I be pleased? Screw that I would be pleased! At least the truth is out there because I'm tired of holding every little thing in. It's not fair for me to not being able to vent and I'm not good with words as it is and I don't have someone in my life who would listen to me.

Don't get me wrong I'm grateful for the days off for the things I am ACTUALLy good and what I'm supposed to be doing. I know that leaving Fl was probably a mistake, but I did the right thing by helping mom. The problem is the fact that I stopped believing in myself once my dad died.

I stopped doing what I'm doing because I lost faith in more ways than one. It doesn't help working at a place where I feel like I'm lost all together
I'm sorry that I'm so bitter of the work place. I'm sorry for not wanting to do my job while I'm here. I'm sorry that I can't keep my head on straight since I've been there for a year. I... I'm sorry that I can't stand up for myself when it comes to people pushing me down. I'm sorry that I'm not who I wanted to be and I'm also sorry that I'm so bitter and so alone that I can't find anyone to actually vent to. I'm sorry for being so cold that no one could make me melt...

So I must be angry. I must be someone that can't keep calm or anything like that...I must be the person to fire. Since on paper I can write daggers but in person I turn into a small bug that can be stomped on. So yeah I need to write.