Hate this feeling

I hate not knowing what he's thinking. He hasn't talked to me or anything...he makes me nervous and I think I've pushed him too far. My emotions have been in roller coaster mode and I hate it. I want him and I told him....so I lost him. I hate this feeling of being scared of what he's thinking. I deserve his silence and I deserve this feeling, but I deserve to be able to move on...sadly I have a feeling I won't be able to. Again I hate this feeling.