Failure

My tears fall
As I think of you
Knowing that you'll
Never be there for me
Because I messed it up
I pushed too hard
And didn't wnat to feel
The way you make me feel
I push because I wasn't ready
Or at least
I thought I wasn't
You were right there
Waiting for me
And I screwed it all up
I don't know
How I do it
But I'm good at pushing
Pushing people away who matter
Who really care about me
The one person
I really cared about
I pushed away too fast
And I won't get you back
Maybe as a friend
But nothing more than that
I've lost you
So I sit outside
Alone
Letting the rain fall
Seeping in my clothes
Hiding the tears that
Stream down my face
As I see the word
Failure
Through my blurry vision
Onto the ground
Because I lost you
And I will never have you back