Stupid girl

Why do you let your heart
Give so much?
Why do you even try?
Once was enough
Now twice
Get over it, babe
If he's not willing to fight
Why should you?
Obviously you're too good for him
If you weren't then you'd be
Right by his side
You knew when he texted you again
You would let your heart
Take control
Why did you even try?
Hoping something will change?
Hoping he'll actually be a man
And step up to the plate?
He's not worth it
If he's not going to try
No girl should be kept a secret
I know you love him still
But this time...
You need to let him go
Don't be a stupid girl
And let him walk all over you
Be proud of the fact
That he missed his chance
And be patient for the one
That's willing to be by your side
Who will take you out
Who isn't afraid of your past
And the baggage that you put on the table
Please don't be that stupid girl
That I know you'll become again
As soon as he texts you
Or when you see him again

What to do?

Is it bad to love someone who doesn't really want to be loved by you? Stupid question or odd question I know. But somehow I have liked this guy for awhile now...and he keeps saying he's not ready to be in a relationship, now I can understand that but wouldn't it be better if we hung out with friends so we could become better friends and when he's ready he'll be ready? I don't know... I'm such a girl....
I just don't want to be thrown away like I have been before... Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth the hurt to let him in... Oh wait too late the idiot in myself already did.

Problems

Sometimes I wonder if things will go right. I mean I know that I'm a sinner and I have trust issues but... Is it bad to want someone who will take your issues and every problem you have from the past away?
I have a problem then... My problem is that I want a particular person and we're talking...but I don't think he wants me like I want him. I know I'm a hopeless romantic. I have that problem in wanting love and being able to love. I trust him and he shockingly knows that but I don't think he takes it seriously. Yep....PROBLEM!!
I'm at a lost...and I am a bit lost, but that's a lot to admit to people who really don't read this... Though who knows maybe I'm wrong today because of my venting to the whole world about this nothingness.
Anyway, I should go and look for my card...yep another problem that I usually don't have but this time I do.

REALIZATION!!!

Holy crap!! I just realized that I'm just second best...why did this realization just hit? Well, probably because I suggested something to a guy that I've been talking to as in hanging out...and he turned me down...but this happens a lot. Sometimes I would like to be the girl that a guy can go to and ask out and be able to go out and hang out with friends or family.
I'm just a bloody hopeless romantic I guess...

Sleep deprived

Ok so, who knew someone could wake up smiling and have a great day...until night falls and they couldn't sleep. Then the next day is an ok day not great but good enough....

Well, that was me waking up with a smile on my face and then today having an ok day. I couldn't sleep because I was thinking. About what? Well about a guy which is never a good thing but at the same time it is... Sometimes you just want to sleep and that's what I wanted to do, but I hacks him in my head. That never helps. Sooner or later I will be able to say that "I'm taken sorry boys- you had your chance." That's what I'm going to say one of these days...
Anyway, just needed to vent a bit... Have a good day.

Happy New Year!

Yes I'm 4 days late but I've been working a lot...yeah nothing new about that...but you also know that that means no creativity! NO!!!

I need to write something. I need to make something creative on here...or get some inspriation from someone or something...I don't know what to do anymore. Well, I must go and either figure out how much I need to change each story that I've written.

Have a good month...hopefully I'll be back before Feb.

Welcome to December

Well let's see its Christmas Time!!! And its another year without my dad and it kills me inside but I keep going. My dad wouldn't have wanted it any other way. The problem with me keep going...is that I'm still where I have started. I'm in Va working and not really living the life that was intended for me or is this the life that is intended for me? Either way, I don't know what to do.

I have some thoughts going through my head but I don't have a clue on what to do. I know there are things that I would like to do with my life but haven't started anything. Only ideas pop into my head and then they go away because people in my life I know damage the dreams or I do it myself. Its simple thing to do. I've done it plenty of times.

Well what can I say? I don't have a poem for you or anything...I swear being an adult kind of sucks because I'm always working! lol! anyway, hope you have a good December.