Another Sunday

Tomorrow is only another Sunday 
And it will begin 
The week of searching 
Which never ends well
Another week of not 
Seeing you seated
In your spot
Another week of 
Not being a friend
Just a distant memory
Which is what it's 
Turning out to be 
So only dreams will remain 
Or random texting of 
How we should meet
And it's the only thing 
That keeps somewhat 
Of a relationship
Who knows where things lead
Maybe it wasn't meant to be
Anything more than 
Just a friendship
But still on Sunday
I seek for you 
And you won't be there 
Because you have a life 
Of your own 
And the only contact 
We'll have is through texting
And that doesn't help 
A relationship at all
So let the dreams
And random texting begin again
What's another week 
Without seeing you
A broken friend 
Who will just encourage you
And I'll keep my distance 
That's all that I'll do
Keep bugging you with quotes 
And stay in the back 
Of the gym seeking 
For a friendship that won't happen
Because I push too hard for it 
And then I'll push it away
Because that's what I do...
Let Sunday come 
Another week will start
With work being in the way
And another nights alone for me
As my world crumbles 
For something that's 
Not going to happen

Always Alone?

I am always by myself so I am a loner...but I'm never alone, though I feel extremely alone. I don't have to go out, but it's nice every now and then I would like to go out with my friends that I don't see often. When I was going out, hanging with a friend of mine, but I felt like e was being hidden from out mutual friends... So what did I do??? I stopped hanging out with him alone. We acted like a couple when we weren't and that ended the going out, hanging out, or whatever...

You're probably thinking, "What? Shannon Marie isn't going out?! She's a theatre person, they go out all the time, what's wrong?"
That might be stereotyping, but even when was working in the theatre, I didn't go out... I just started going out after shows during 'Love Kills'. I have never been a party person...no matter what I do...I'll be a loner. People will say that I can change... You're right I COULD change, but it will be me. I am who I am. I am truthfully shy, a hard worker, will listen to your problems and try to put a smile on your face while encouraging you and letting you know everything will be ok and that you're loved. 

What can I say? That's who I am... Painfully shy until I let someone in and become a big goofball to make people laugh. 

Who’s Your Real Prayer Partner?

Go away
You were never
A part of me
You made me
The way I am
What’s that?
You may ask
Let’s see
I’m scared
To love someone
I’m scared
To trust someone
Because of you
I can’t let the one guy
Who is willing
To deal with me
To put up
With all my drama
In my life
Because of you
I can’t trust
The one person
Who can make me
Feel like I’m
Meant to be with him
Because of you
I fear that
When I’m over
The trusting and marry
That he’ll leave me
For his “prayer partner”
But I have to
Remember that
He’s NOT YOU
And NEITHER AM I
Just do me a favor
Stay away from me
Just because
You’re half my DNA
Doesn’t mean that
You’re a part of me
Have fun with
Your next sucker
Who is your
“Prayer partner”


This doesn't mean that pryaer partners are bad, they are fine...as long as you don't cheat on your wife or husband with them.

titles?

ok some of these will not have titles...and they might never have titles...just giving the heads up...
Oh and in this one...you might not like me for because...I put the f-bomb in it...so i'll secer it...but you know its there..


Why do you have to lie?
If you don’t
Want to talk
Just say so…
But don’t lie
To me
I’m sorry
That I worry about you
I’m sorry
That I am too f-ing loyal
I can’t help that
I care about you
If you don’t want me
To care about you
Then tell me
I’ll do my best
To stop caring
But I can’t make
A promise that
I know in my heart
That I can’t keep

Is It Right? (working title)

Though it seems weird
And we can’t
Get things right
Love is one of
Those things that
We can’t control
It hits us in the face
And sometimes we
Don’t see it
Love is a feeling
That we want to block
That we want to protect
Because the hurt
Is so painful
That we shield
What we are really
Feeling inside

Hold On Tight

Hold on tight
Don't let go
Of what I've given
To you
Hold on tight
To me
And know I
Won't be going
Anywhere
I'm with you
Just hold on tight
Don't let go
I know that you're hurting
And I know that
You're scared
But don't worry about a thing
I'm here
And hold on tight
To me
I won't let go
I never had
And I never will
I've got you
Just hold on tight
To me

ok...random thoughts...

So I'm busy tryingto keep up with my friends and whatnot...then I stopped talking to this one friend because we weren't acting like friends. We were acting more than friends and truthfully I did like it but it wasn't healthy for me. Anyway, so he agreed to keep it as friends...(awkward story along with that)...I started thinking about another friend of mine and how I missed seeing him around so I texted him and told him to have a good day even though about 6 months ago he told me to F-off. So I"m confused about that whole thing....

So now he's being nice and doing what he did before...I don't have time for games people! I want something real! I want something that God wants me to have... It sounds odd..though I've had my ups and downs with God lately...Its just been rough...and I haven't been the best daughter of Christ...I don't think I'll ever be...but I have faith that God will take care of me. I know that when I run away He never leaves...He waits for me to turn around and run into His arms...and He knows I'm still working on it.

I just hope that I do better...as a person for people to see...

Yeah my brain is on overload right now...I need my sleep....