Looking forward

I wonder back
On the days where
I could have changed something
But there is no way
That I can do that
So I must look forward
I think of the ways
That I could have made
Someone happy
But I can't
I must look forward
There is no way in changing
The past
But there is a way
To change the future
So I look forward
For the opertunity
For me to change something
That's why I must keep
Looking forward

Tired of skipping days...

Ok so I missed another day...and you're thinking, "Your point?"
My point is that I need to do this for me. I have to write something because its apart of me...when really...I need to get out of my own drama for a little bit. I have too many things going on in my life and writing helps me get through it...it also gets something out there, in the world that not many people would read...but its something.
I have to do this...this is until I find my way back to where I need to be.


When fighting isn't enough
I finally have to give up
When smiling can't seem to
Light up the world
My frown apears
When I'm giving it all
For something I believe in
But it falls through the cracks
And I loose every piece of it
I don't like this
I hate feeling like this
When it all comes down to it
I'm nothing
Invisable to the world
But only words
On paper that you see
But you don't see me

Failure

My tears fall
As I think of you
Knowing that you'll
Never be there for me
Because I messed it up
I pushed too hard
And didn't wnat to feel
The way you make me feel
I push because I wasn't ready
Or at least
I thought I wasn't
You were right there
Waiting for me
And I screwed it all up
I don't know
How I do it
But I'm good at pushing
Pushing people away who matter
Who really care about me
The one person
I really cared about
I pushed away too fast
And I won't get you back
Maybe as a friend
But nothing more than that
I've lost you
So I sit outside
Alone
Letting the rain fall
Seeping in my clothes
Hiding the tears that
Stream down my face
As I see the word
Failure
Through my blurry vision
Onto the ground
Because I lost you
And I will never have you back

Crazy?

Craziness has found me
I'm in a whirl wind
Of a mess
And can't get out
Too many things are going on
I wish I could do something
But I can't
Nothing I can do
Will change the craziness
Around me
I'll never stop having this
Feeling of nothing
Of Craziness...
I need something more...
I wish I had it
But I know I don't
I wish I had something
To look forward too
And not live in this
Craziness that I live in
Nothing will change
How I feel
And nothing will be the same again
I've been lost in this crazy world
And haven't been able to move
I wish I could stop...
But I keep coming back for more...
Craziness


Ok just so you know, anyone can comment...I probably should have posted that tidbit before hand but haven't...ok have a good day!

No title... =/

The cold wind is blowing
Through my hair
As I stand outside
Waiting...
Wanting...
To do make a move
But I don't
I don't even know why
I haven't moved yet
I really don't know
How I lasted so long
Not doing anything
Different...
Challenging...
In my life
I've been stuck
And I haven't been
Able to get out
I wish I could
Break free
From it all...
But in reality...
I can't
I live a life in the shadows
So that's why
I stand outside
For once
To feel the cold wind
Blow through my hair

stay...

I'm falling apart
I can't live my dream
Cause everyone has
A "better one" for me
Why can't I just live my life?
Why can't I be me?!
I'm falling apart
And I'm nothing
I became nothing
When someone said
That I'm not allowed to leave
I've been falling apart
Since my dad died
I've been lost
And haven't been found yet
I'm in a deep dark hole
I don't know who I am anymore!!!
Why...
Do I...
Have to be the one to stay behind....

Missed a day!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't mean to, I was working...this is not good...I have a feeling that I'm going to miss my creative posts for Sunday too...
My theatre world has been kicking my butt. Along with drama in my life...so I really have nothing for now...I'll have something soon... =( sorry...