I have a strange feeling that I won't be able to write later today...so I'm going to think of something to write quickly before I leave my computer....
The question is.... what am I going to write?!
(10 minutes later...)
Oooo...I might have something....
You give me strength
And you don't even know it
You give me something
That I never knew I had
Courage...
I never knew I had that
Seeing myself
Through your eyes
Is a whole new world
Because you don't
Judge me
Like I do to myself
I just gotta tell you
I look up to you
And you don't even know me
You do all these things
And you have no idea
What my name is...
Crazy how big of an impact
You have on me...
I just wish
I could be more like you
But that's not what you would want
You would want me to be me
Even when I don't want to be
So...I thank you
For everything that you've done
Yeah, that's what I got today...sidenote, yes I am a Mariska Hargitay fan. She knows it even though she doesn't know me. Which is fine...I'm a techie, I don't need to be noticed, unless someone needs something and I can help with.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Random Story
I sat there listening to you speak to me. I have tight silver bracelets on my wrists. I haven’t said a word since you brought me in. The room we’re in is cold and dark, a little bit of light beaming through the bar window and the florescent light above my head flickering. I didn’t do anything wrong though you think I did. I see your lips moving, but I hear nothing. Your fingers tuck your hair back and then I finally hear you ask as you sit down, “Do you know why I brought you in?” your voice turned soft and I stared at you.
I shook my head, “No, I have no clue.”
You sighed, “I need to know what you did.”
I calmly quietly said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, detective.”
We have staring contest, your brown eyes against my blue ones. You are quiet and I don’t move a muscle. “Come on, give me something?”
“What is there to give? You put me in these,” my wrist rise from the table, “and you want me to tell you something that I didn’t do?” I rest my wrist back down, “There is nothing to say…other than I know that your M.E. has my DNA so answers that you’re looking for should be found somewhere.”
Your eyes change from wanting answers to questioning, “What are you talking about?”
I shrug my shoulders, “I wish I could tell you…but I can’t, it’s part of my job to keep things hidden and I’m not allowed to say what I want.”
“What could you possible not tell me?” you look so confused.
So I thought of something, “Can I tell you a story?”
“Sure, why not,” you lean back in the chair in front of me.
I lean forward, “It’s about a little girl, who was adopted… she didn’t find out until she was old enough to understand why her mother gave her away.” I sighed, “Her mom was raped and she couldn’t abort the baby…so she gave her up for adoption. The little girl’s name is Keira…” I paused to see if there was any reaction in your eyes, your eyes became soft as I gotten into the story, “Anyway, Keira has a big brother…Parker, and he is a bit older than Keira…but he protected her as much as he could.” I took a deep breath, “Parker is a lawyer…defending the people as Keira put them in jail…” I look at my wrist, “One night while Keira was working…someone attacked her. She froze…she knew who it was…and somehow…felt like she knew better than to freeze like she did…after the attack…she didn’t report it because she was on the job and she pushed it out of her mind…until weeks later, when she was getting sick. Same time everyday…” I looked up at you, “She was pregnant… she had to tell her brother…and of course her boss…” I sighed and felt tears burning in my eyes. “They wanted her off the case, but she was so close and the people trusted her that they couldn’t take her off the case.” I gave a sad smile, “Keira got them all…and was able to have her baby…even though she was raped…she wanted to keep him…a beautiful baby boy.” A tear escaped my right eye and I wiped it away before it became a stream of tears coming down her face.
You stared at me, “What’s his name?”
“She named him, Michael…after her dad…” my eyes focused on my hands. “Keira had to get Parker to watch him…because she was assigned to another team what seems like right after she had him, but she would break prodigal just to see him...she didn’t care that he was made from a rape, she wanted to be a good mom…and she did as best as she could. Apparently, this one case she couldn’t go see him at all…and got in trouble…”
“What kind of trouble?” you ask eagerly for me to give you an answer.
I looked at her, “So much trouble that I can’t tell you the rest of the story.”
You hit the table with your fist, “I can help you if you tell me.”
The door opened, “Detective,” I looked at the door to see a muscular man buzzed cut hair in a blue dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up exposing his military tattoo, tie, and black slacks. You walked over to him and took the folder to open it. He whispered something in her ear and your face looked shocked as he spoke and your eyes became wide. You walked over and sat down and he left.
“What’s wrong detective?” I asked quietly.
“Olivia…call me Olivia.”
I nodded, “Ok, Olivia, what’s wrong?”
Your eyes became a slow sea of tears, “You’re Keira Langon…Trevor’s sister…Michael’s mom…”
I gave her a sad smile, “Maybe?”
“You’re DNA found a match…”
I nodded again, “To who?”
“You have a sibling…” you put the closed folder down on the table.
“Who is it?” I felt my eyes widen even though I had a feeling that my sibling is and you were sitting right in front of me.
As a tear slipped down your cheek, you get the keys to unlock the silver bracelets, “I’m your sister…”
The cuffs made a clanging sound as they hit the table; I nodded, “Ok…” I gave a sly smile and held out my right hand, “Nice to meet you, Olivia.”
You took it, “I’ve been looking…”
“Well, you found me…I’m sorry that you had to search for the answers…and that I couldn’t give them to you…I’ve broken the rules enough…this was my last job.” I held your hand, “Do you want to meet your nephew?”
You smiled, “Please.”
I nodded and smiled, “I can make that happen.”
I shook my head, “No, I have no clue.”
You sighed, “I need to know what you did.”
I calmly quietly said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, detective.”
We have staring contest, your brown eyes against my blue ones. You are quiet and I don’t move a muscle. “Come on, give me something?”
“What is there to give? You put me in these,” my wrist rise from the table, “and you want me to tell you something that I didn’t do?” I rest my wrist back down, “There is nothing to say…other than I know that your M.E. has my DNA so answers that you’re looking for should be found somewhere.”
Your eyes change from wanting answers to questioning, “What are you talking about?”
I shrug my shoulders, “I wish I could tell you…but I can’t, it’s part of my job to keep things hidden and I’m not allowed to say what I want.”
“What could you possible not tell me?” you look so confused.
So I thought of something, “Can I tell you a story?”
“Sure, why not,” you lean back in the chair in front of me.
I lean forward, “It’s about a little girl, who was adopted… she didn’t find out until she was old enough to understand why her mother gave her away.” I sighed, “Her mom was raped and she couldn’t abort the baby…so she gave her up for adoption. The little girl’s name is Keira…” I paused to see if there was any reaction in your eyes, your eyes became soft as I gotten into the story, “Anyway, Keira has a big brother…Parker, and he is a bit older than Keira…but he protected her as much as he could.” I took a deep breath, “Parker is a lawyer…defending the people as Keira put them in jail…” I look at my wrist, “One night while Keira was working…someone attacked her. She froze…she knew who it was…and somehow…felt like she knew better than to freeze like she did…after the attack…she didn’t report it because she was on the job and she pushed it out of her mind…until weeks later, when she was getting sick. Same time everyday…” I looked up at you, “She was pregnant… she had to tell her brother…and of course her boss…” I sighed and felt tears burning in my eyes. “They wanted her off the case, but she was so close and the people trusted her that they couldn’t take her off the case.” I gave a sad smile, “Keira got them all…and was able to have her baby…even though she was raped…she wanted to keep him…a beautiful baby boy.” A tear escaped my right eye and I wiped it away before it became a stream of tears coming down her face.
You stared at me, “What’s his name?”
“She named him, Michael…after her dad…” my eyes focused on my hands. “Keira had to get Parker to watch him…because she was assigned to another team what seems like right after she had him, but she would break prodigal just to see him...she didn’t care that he was made from a rape, she wanted to be a good mom…and she did as best as she could. Apparently, this one case she couldn’t go see him at all…and got in trouble…”
“What kind of trouble?” you ask eagerly for me to give you an answer.
I looked at her, “So much trouble that I can’t tell you the rest of the story.”
You hit the table with your fist, “I can help you if you tell me.”
The door opened, “Detective,” I looked at the door to see a muscular man buzzed cut hair in a blue dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up exposing his military tattoo, tie, and black slacks. You walked over to him and took the folder to open it. He whispered something in her ear and your face looked shocked as he spoke and your eyes became wide. You walked over and sat down and he left.
“What’s wrong detective?” I asked quietly.
“Olivia…call me Olivia.”
I nodded, “Ok, Olivia, what’s wrong?”
Your eyes became a slow sea of tears, “You’re Keira Langon…Trevor’s sister…Michael’s mom…”
I gave her a sad smile, “Maybe?”
“You’re DNA found a match…”
I nodded again, “To who?”
“You have a sibling…” you put the closed folder down on the table.
“Who is it?” I felt my eyes widen even though I had a feeling that my sibling is and you were sitting right in front of me.
As a tear slipped down your cheek, you get the keys to unlock the silver bracelets, “I’m your sister…”
The cuffs made a clanging sound as they hit the table; I nodded, “Ok…” I gave a sly smile and held out my right hand, “Nice to meet you, Olivia.”
You took it, “I’ve been looking…”
“Well, you found me…I’m sorry that you had to search for the answers…and that I couldn’t give them to you…I’ve broken the rules enough…this was my last job.” I held your hand, “Do you want to meet your nephew?”
You smiled, “Please.”
I nodded and smiled, “I can make that happen.”
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Going to try something new...
Ok, until I can get a day job...I'm going to try and write something everyday on here. Granted it might be strange. It might make no sense what-so-ever, but its something. It could be a poem, it could be a short story, or it could be a song...who knows. but i'm going to try this...so hopefully, something will come up...if not...I'm going back to Fla to work...well, at least I'm going to hope to go back.
So what am I going to write today? Let's find out together...
How long will it take
For me to get you
Out of my head
Don't get me wrong
I love having you there
But being able to work
Is a bit difficult
With you hanging around in there
You just pop up
Whenever you want
And not when I want...
That's not good
I can't work with you in my head
So if you don't mind
And do me a favor
Come back when I'm done working
And then I'll be yours.
I promise you
You'll have my attention
The whole time you're there
So please
Meet me after work
And you won't be sorry
Ok--so that's what happens when you're trying something new...I must go and get ready for my show tonight...Yay! Godspell!
So what am I going to write today? Let's find out together...
How long will it take
For me to get you
Out of my head
Don't get me wrong
I love having you there
But being able to work
Is a bit difficult
With you hanging around in there
You just pop up
Whenever you want
And not when I want...
That's not good
I can't work with you in my head
So if you don't mind
And do me a favor
Come back when I'm done working
And then I'll be yours.
I promise you
You'll have my attention
The whole time you're there
So please
Meet me after work
And you won't be sorry
Ok--so that's what happens when you're trying something new...I must go and get ready for my show tonight...Yay! Godspell!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Wow, I'm horrible
I didn't realize how long its been since I've written on here...
Well, let's see why...because DRAMA is in my life and its too depressing to even write about. The problem I have is the fact that Facebook has my interest and I tend to check up on my friends...forgetting that I can write a BLOG on here and not many people will read it. Which is fine with me...because who wants to read my drama? Not many people again which is fine with me.
I've just been lost and broken lately so its been hard to get myself back together...anyway, I should go and figure out how to sleep again so when the morning comes...I can get UP!
Well, let's see why...because DRAMA is in my life and its too depressing to even write about. The problem I have is the fact that Facebook has my interest and I tend to check up on my friends...forgetting that I can write a BLOG on here and not many people will read it. Which is fine with me...because who wants to read my drama? Not many people again which is fine with me.
I've just been lost and broken lately so its been hard to get myself back together...anyway, I should go and figure out how to sleep again so when the morning comes...I can get UP!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Time to decide on life
Well, at the moment I'm working in Disney for this month and then going back to Virginia to go and work on RENT at the Firehouse Theatre. I love what I do but I need to come to realization that I can't stay with my parents forever but at the same time...I still need them.
Why is this hard? Because I'm a chicken and I don't know what I want but I do know one thing...I want to move. I love my family and friends back in VA, but when I travel the world or even the states, I'm happy. Not many people can understand that, but its who I am. If a great guy comes into my life and keeps me in one place and we have our life together than that's what it will be.
I'm almost ready for the world...but is the world ready for me?
Why is this hard? Because I'm a chicken and I don't know what I want but I do know one thing...I want to move. I love my family and friends back in VA, but when I travel the world or even the states, I'm happy. Not many people can understand that, but its who I am. If a great guy comes into my life and keeps me in one place and we have our life together than that's what it will be.
I'm almost ready for the world...but is the world ready for me?
Saturday, January 9, 2010
A New Year has begun!
Well, working at Disney has been a blessing for me and I'm sad to say that I'm not there right now. I found out some bad news and I'm not awllod to say anything since I am still a Cast Member and I know better.
Anyway, being at home has been BORING!!! I have no idea what to do anymore. Usually during the day I'm working doing my thing there and then all of a sudden...nothing. but you know that's life...right? So, I've been working on some stories and I haven't finished one...
I miss working, I miss seeing my new family...I miss a lot of things... I feel like I'm going to be lost for awhile. So who know's what might happen. I just wish that I could be more like other people, more out spoken and comfortable with myself to speak to people or get my ideas out there or to write a book or something...I don't know. Hopefully, things will work out, but I have no idea. Anyway, things will get better... Trust in the Lord Always and that's what I need to do!
Monday, September 21, 2009
I think I got you beat...yeah...yeah..yeah....
Ok not really I just thought I'd write that as a title on here. hehehehe. Anyway, I want to go to NYC to see Shrek the musical and Next to Normal. I'm a geek who wants to travel more and fall in love with someone who will be willing to do the same with me. I'm a theatre person who has trouble finding love in the right places. I am the one who doesn't trust as easily like everyone thinks I am. I'm on my guard all the time and very rarely let it down.
How do I get from NYC to having my guard down? Well, part of going to NYC is bringing my guard down and falling in love. I am a chicken....that's about it. I have been trying to find my way to love someone....and truthfully....its not really working. I do like this guy and want to have somewhat a relationship but I'm not quite sure if he wants one with me. I just don't know anymore.
I don't know why I'm actually writing on here right now...probably because I know this won't be posted on facebook. Thank you Blogger! There are just somethings that people shouldn't read... I do love my friends and family but this isn't for them. This is for Wicked Shannon (me, duh) to vent a little about life and hopefully will tell stories about her life that not many people didn't know about me. Anyway I should go now...
How do I get from NYC to having my guard down? Well, part of going to NYC is bringing my guard down and falling in love. I am a chicken....that's about it. I have been trying to find my way to love someone....and truthfully....its not really working. I do like this guy and want to have somewhat a relationship but I'm not quite sure if he wants one with me. I just don't know anymore.
I don't know why I'm actually writing on here right now...probably because I know this won't be posted on facebook. Thank you Blogger! There are just somethings that people shouldn't read... I do love my friends and family but this isn't for them. This is for Wicked Shannon (me, duh) to vent a little about life and hopefully will tell stories about her life that not many people didn't know about me. Anyway I should go now...
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